Tag Archives: willpower

Getting In the Ring

It’s 12:30 am on a Saturday night (Sunday morning) and here I am typing on my laptop. I am trying to write. I forget how to. It’s pretty tough.

I spent the day trying to deploy the latest web app I’ve been working on for the past couple of months. It was as I expected – disaster. You know that law, Murphy’s. Damn you. It was the command line tool that I was supposed to install not installing. Then it was the bundle tool not working with the extremely useful error message…. “Error”. Then it was git acting up. Then the virtual instance. Then the internet connection. Shoot me now.

I’ve been trying to chunk my time. Four hours for some deep work. An hour to read. A half hour nap. An hour to write. And so on. It’s hard when shit doesn’t work. When things break and go bad. It’s hard to get into the habits when all I feel like doing is taking a sledge hammer to my computer. So I tinker, wait for the computer terminal to spit back some venomous error, and I tinker again. Rinse. Repeat. Next thing I know 6 hours have passed and I haven’t eaten. I haven’t progressed much, either. More time passes. More tinkering. More suckage. Screw it. White flag. Live to see another day. And now I’m here, trying to salvage my day.

I’ve been doing alright for the most part for the past 6 months. I’d give myself a B. I start the day strong, but post dinner I don’t have much juice left in me to write. I don’t have much juice to do anything. Not tired enough to sleep, too tired to think. Wah, I don’t want to do this. Everything is telling me to stop. Then I just start. And bam, here I am.

Damn, I’m at 300 words already. Then I remember how the pros do it. They just do. Screw motivation, they just do it. Then I remember how I am supposed to do it. Screw motivation, just do it already. It’s that simple. Simple, yes. Easy, hell no. But that’s why the pros are pros and the amateurs are not. Do I want to be an amateur or a pro? I know my answer. What’s yours?

Hey, what do you know. I have words, real words. Not bad. I’ll do this again tomorrow. Because I know habits take time. And consistency. I know processes and systems are better than willpower. But willpower can be strengthened anyway. Pros know this. Then they do it, even when they don’t want to. Need some sleep. Got to recover from the day’s beating. Tomorrow, I put on the gloves and get back in the ring. Rinse. Repeat.

Willpower Alone is Not Enough

I recently returned from vacation and had a great time.  Drank like a fish, ate like a pig.  It was overindulgence deluxe.  I worked out only twice.  It was my first break from regimented workouts since May.  I learned something about myself that I wasn’t really aware of previously that I think applies to a lot of people.  Willpower is very very difficult.  I think if willpower is the only thing making you do something, there is a high probability that you won’t be able to keep it up.  Systems and routines trump willpower.  This is why I’m such a fan of working out in the morning.  You just go in there and get it done just like brushing your teeth.  You don’t even think about it.  Back when I started modifying my diet, I knew I had to eliminate all canned, sugary and processed foods out of my apartment or I would be tempted to eat them all.  When I started sitting on an exercise ball as my office chair 3 years ago, I removed my real chair completely because if I didn’t then I would likely sit back on that chair eventually.  Half my paycheque is gone before I even see it because my investment advisor yanks it from me so I don’t overspend.  I never realized that it was actually the routines, the removal of choice and the systems I set up that bring me success until returning from vacation, the most overindulgent one I’ve ever been on.  It is really easy to fall into that trap of gluttony, willpower be damned.  This coming from a guy who thinks he’s got pretty good willpower.

Maybe this is why smokers smoke despite knowing it is bad.  Actually, pick an addiction (food, porn, alcohol, gambling, etc.) and it probably has less to do with weak willpower and more to do with the system they have in place, the environment they are surrounded by, the routines and habits they have set up, and the amount of choices they have.  For me, the vacation was a big fat fail in what I call conscious choice.  Doing something knowingly, like making a big purchase for example without having buyer’s remorse afterwards, or enjoying a slice of pizza without feeling guilty afterwards.  I do these things on occasion without any guilt or remorse because its conscious, i.e. I didn’t make an impulse buy, it was thoroughly researched or I am hanging out with friends at a pizza joint, of course I’m going to eat some.

Trying to save some money by cutting out your morning latte?  You better make sure you take a different route to avoid that Starbucks, because your willpower isn’t going to do squat.  Sure, you might be good for awhile but eventually I guarantee you its not going to last.  Set yourself up for victory, not failure!