Category Archives: Mindset

Learning is a Lifelong Journey

Basic summer survival

What do you do for the weekend in April when the weather forecast expects below freezing temperatures, rain, snow, and a lot of wind while also being sick and having a busted knee? Well if your me, you take a weekend summer survival course!! That’s what I did this past weekend, and it was awesome. The conditions were perfect; The weather was miserable, I hurt my knee from hiking the bruce trail the day before (actually re-irritated my LCL and IT band after a drunken night of St. Patty day shenanigans), didn’t have proper clothing/gear, and I was still sick after nearly two weeks. It would have been easy to feel miserable about having crappy weather, freezing your ass off and whining about walking on muddy hills with a busted (very painful) knee after dropping about four hundred bucks for the course plus gear. Rather, it was exciting for me. It made the experience of being in a survival situation much more authentic. In other words, how you think matters. You know, that story about two prisoners looking out their cell window and one sees the bars while the other sees the sky.

I learned so much this weekend. Did some survival fishing and got pretty good at it, actually caught something for once as well. Made some cool traps, practiced some more fire making techniques, refreshed my memory on some first aid and shelter making. It was great. Its funny, the older I get I’m constantly reminded about how little I know. I really feel like a kid just trying to soak everything in. Learning and skill acquisition are so important to me. One of my instructors for the weekend spent a year out in the bush by himself (his only visitor being Les Stroud aka Survivorman) and when people ask him why he did it he didn’t really have an answer. He basically said it was a calling that he felt on the inside and it isn’t the first time I’ve heard that from people who have done extraordinary things. I feel the same way about skill acquisition and learning. I don’t know why I do it, I just like to do it.

I re-designed the blog website last week. I tried to make it as ridiculous looking as possible and think I succeeded. It was a fun learning experience and I’m glad I did it (there’s still bugs in the system, let me know if you find any. free hug!). I don’t know why I did it, I just felt like doing it. I also paid to be a part of Scott H Young’s “Learning On Steroids” program which involves rapid and accelerated learning techniques as well as Ramit Sethi‘s “Earn 1k” program. Scott’s program is a monthly subscription and Ramit’s was a one time deal with an option for ongoing support (which I chose not to pursue at this time). It was funny, I emailed Ramit and pretty much told him I have little money with a condo and big fat tuition bill on the way, no time, and soon to be no job and explained my situation to him. He basically wrote me back and said man up or go home. I literally laughed out the coffee through my nose because I knew that was what he was going to say and because I would have said the same thing to someone who emailed me that. Then I busted out my credit card. Sneaky, persuasive bastard.

The journey into awesomehood is never easy but always rewarding. It’s about focusing on your strengths and improving upon your weaknesses. It’s about taking what’s useful and discarding the rest. It’s about ignoring everybody and everything, sometimes including common sense and conventional wisdom. Standing at the edge is better than standing in the middle. You get a better view.

You Don’t Need More Tips

Self help is starting to make me vomit.  I went in DEEP into the self help industry for about 5 years.  Like I’m talking crazy stuff like chakra cleansing, transcendence of ego, emotional freedom tapping and so forth.  Really hippy yoga shizz.  To an extent, I’m still into it and probably always will be because I believe in carving out my best self.  I get what I need about a subject at the time I need it and move on.  I had a guy email me the other day asking me to submit my blog into his self help blog directory. Ignored.  I’m no self help guru, and I don’t claim to be.  What I write isn’t self help.  Its atypical.  I challenge conventional wisdom and common sense.  I take action and make mistakes.  Its my journey into awesomehood, and if you get something out of it then even better.

The thing with self help is, people write these lists, 10 things you need to do to be happy, 14 things to help you stop stressing, 45 ways to save a kitten, and they are all USELESS.  These people aren’t any better off than you are.  I bet I could get under their skin if I really wanted to 😉  The reason that I am so against reading these tips is it is an excuse for inaction.  Some people call it paralysis by analysis, I call it the one more thing syndrome.  One more book to read then I will be ready.  One more purchase then I will be complete.  One more piece of equipment then I can start.  One more piece of advice so I’m prepared.  All cleverly masked excuses.  I would prefer something called next syndrome.  What’s the next challenge, what’s the next obstacle to overcome, what’s the next mistake I’m going to learn from?  There’s just no way in hell you need 45 ways to stay positive, firstly because you aren’t going to remember them all, and secondly because it doesn’t matter.  You need one and only one.  You aren’t going to read a 5000 word blog post by Steve Pavlina about the “Law of Attraction” and then become complete.  Instead of reading that, go out and do something that will actually get you results.  There is NO fundamental difference between reading a blog post about “Moving past fear based emotions” and watching a youtube video of a guy farting in terms of actually defeating your fear of something.  Want to beat your fear? Then do the thing that terrifies you.

You need ONE tip to relieve stress. Breathe.  Want another one? Ok fine, but last one.  Stop doing that thing that stresses you. DONE. Moving on.  You need ONE tip to get in shape. Eat less. One more? Fine. Exercise. That’s it, not hard at all.  The best technique, the most efficient method, the smartest tool, you’ll find out eventually through trial and error and immersion into the subject once you start doing it, not usually before.  Too much advice is bad, too many choices is very bad.  Simplify, reduce, limit your choices, ignore everybody.  Nike had it right with their “Just Do It” slogan.  Really, just shut up and do it.

Respect Awesomeness, Not Your Elders

Tell me something.  Why should you respect someone because they are old?  That’s silly. Age doesn’t equate to wisdom. Age doesn’t equate to intelligence.  Age doesn’t equate to ANYTHING.  It is simply a count, a number, not worthy of any type of respect.  I respect people who are respectful.  I respect intelligence.  I don’t care how much money you make.  I don’t care if your dad is a professor in sociology.  I don’t care if you’re upper management.  And I certainly don’t give a rats behind because  you are old.  Have a cookie.

The most actualized person I’ve ever met was a 21 year old pickup artist from Australia named Alex back when I was 25.  I’ve also learned from a homeless cancer survivor who runs marathons named Gwen.  Lawyers, single parents, club promoters, directors and musicians, the list goes on.  Respect.  I learn more from watching children play or animals be animals than most old people.  22 year old UFC fighter Jon “Bones” Jones said something amazing after his fight with Brandon Vera the other day along the lines of “The biggest waste in life is human potential, and I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen to me.” which is absolute GOLD. GOLD.  Why would you listen to a guy with a nick name “Bones”?  Uh, maybe because its good wisdom.

And yet, people listen to scam artists like Dr. Phil because he’s a doctor.  This guy has books out about weight loss. And he’s fat!  Give me a BREAK.  Respect is rarely given equally, although it probably should be.  Instead, you hear conventional wisdom from mostly old people telling you to respect old people simply because they are old.  And yet old timers, some of the most rigid, stuck in their ways, bitter, most prejudice people on the planet want respect without actually earning it.  I heard Al Gore give a climate change talk in Toronto last winter about some of the political problems of moving things forward, and he basically said the biggest problem was old people.  He said that the young people were game, it is their future at stake afterall, who were ready for change but the old people make it difficult to push things forward.  Jokingly, he said if we wait long enough the old people will all be gone and the young guns will be in charge, but by that time it will be too late.

How many times have your parents or grandparents given you some of the worst advice imaginable?  In my own life, I’ve lost count to be honest.  They spent their whole lives working their tails off trying to provide and protect that they don’t actually let us figure things out for ourselves.  To do it smarter, faster, more efficient.  How about politicians?  ALL OLD.  Where is the respect for young people and their ideas?  Present a new solution, and there is resistance.  We all see this consistently with older people and much less so with the younger crowd.   Respect your elders?  Nah, respect awesomeness (person, place, or thing).

Conventional Wisdom is Many Times Very Wrong

I am pretty sure conventional wisdom has been passed on for the sole purpose of keeping people in check.  You know, don’t walk into oncoming traffic, don’t shower with poison ivy, don’t poop where you eat, if a cheetah is going to eat you you probably shouldn’t let it, etc.  But conventional wisdom is often times wrong.  Wrong because it keeps average people…well, pretty average.  But awesome people don’t listen to conventional wisdom many times with great success.  Here is some unconventional wisdom that has worked for me:

Honesty is not always the best policy – I learned this lesson at work.  Remember, business is business, everybody is out for themselves, you should be, too.  You don’t see poker players telling their opponents what they have or showing them their cards all of the time, why should you?  Its not lying, its just not putting all your cards on the table at once.

Eat fat to lose fat – Low fat diets are crappy.  Eat fat to lose fat, especially the saturated kind.  Try it, it will work.  Living proof right here.

Balance is overrated – Everybody who was ever successful at anything in life hustled.  Pick a thing, pick a person who was good at this thing, and you’ll see it over and over again.  Hustle.  There was no balance, only meticulous obsession.  Straight up hustle.  Balance isnt always good.  Many times, imbalance will send you into superstardom.

Moderation is for the mediocre – I hear this one all the time.  Everything in moderation.  Thing is, the people I hear it from arent exceptional in the thing they speak of to do in moderation.  Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Burn bridges or blow them up completely – Burn them to a bloody hell.  Cortez arrived in the new world and burned all the ships and went to war.   Outnumbered by the natives 300 to 1, there was no other option but success.  It was victory or death.

Be as selfish as you need to be – Who ever first said not to be selfish probably got beat up a lot as a kid.  The most selfish people in the world are many times the most giving.  But first, they had to be selfish enough to get ahead and look after themselves before they had the opportunity to give back.  Tip: If ever stuck in an airplane low on oxygen, put on your oxygen mask first before putting on someone else’s so you don’t pass out and die.  Selfish.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, say it anyways – That’s how progress is made.  Unless you are being petty, then just punch yourself in the face and move on.

Other conventionally wise nuggets that are often full of it: Buy a house, its a good investment. Righto. Recycling is good for the environment. Righto. Don’t do that or you’ll go blind. Righto. Get married. Righto. Wear shoes to protect your fragile feat. Righto.

Updates on me:  You ever feel like things are moving at the speed of light while simultaneously feeling suspended in time?  Probably not, but that’s how I feel right now.  Its like doing a billion things at once but not getting anywhere, kinda like the karate kid’s training with Mr. Miyagi.  Since December I’ve been full throttle and progress has been  minimal.  But things are about to change really soon.  I’m also in the middle of moving, finishing another workout program called RMAX BER, getting ready for vacation, selling all of my stuff, and a bunch of other stuff that is keeping me busy.  I was on an all meat diet for a while but couldn’t keep it up and stopped.  Currently, I’m still in ketosis and feel fine.  I can’t tell how its affecting my mental and emotional state, there are too many changing variables in my life right now so its difficult to pinpoint exactly what is doing what.  I can say I have absolutely zero tolerance for nonsense right now, am temporarily not going to play fair or honour my values, am putting myself first far ahead of everything else, and am in full on experimentation mode.  Necessary evils.

Happy Valentine’s day, Happy Chinese New Years, and Happy Family day.

Do you trust yourself? Ignore Everybody

I read this book a little while ago called “Ignore Everybody” by Hugh MacLeod and its stuck with me for a while.  Kind of a catchy title, but all he’s saying is when you are doing something new and original, people won’t understand so you really can’t listen to any advice someone might have to give.  In my own life I’ve actually taken it a step further and ignore everybody pretty much by default now.  I used to give everybody the benefit of the doubt but I find it is just far too time consuming to do that, since everybody these days is full of verbal diarrhea.  The internet has given everybody and their mom a voice and opinion on every subject imaginable.  Now you have people walking around who think they know everything.  They’ll read an article on how organic food isn’t actually healthier to eat so they are smug knowing they never bought organic foods before.  They’ll watch a documentary claiming climate change is a big sham and so decide its ok to drive through the city in their big hummer to show off their status.  Backwards rationalization, that’s what I’ll call it and leave it at that.
I used to try to persuade people to see things my way.  Now, I don’t even bother.  I just ignore.  In fact, when I hear a fool speak, I don’t even answer them.  Because if I did, it would just be two fools battling it out for ego validating supremacy.  I do love to engage in thought provoking conversation, but I find it harder and harder to come by these days.  My friend David said to me a little while ago after hearing me get heated up over something stupid people were doing (I don’t even remember what), “Martin, you know you are different from 99% of the people out there, so what are you going to do about it?”.  I was stumped, I didn’t know how to answer that question.  That’s when I figured out yeah, I have to ignore most of this stupidity.  I am personally a huge fan of intelligence, but it is so hard to come by these days.  There is a lot of misinformation being thrown out there by big corporations, misdirection even, to try and make you buy their product.  In a ridonkulously consumerist world, its a very effective strategy if you are the average person.  But let me ask you something, are you that person?  Wouldn’t you rather trust yourself?  Do you?  Do you trust in your own intelligence?  Do you trust in your own abilities?  Do you trust your own instincts?
Don’t read one article and preach it as dogma (I would say never preach anything as dogma…always challenge your beliefs). Don’t even read two.  Studies can so easily be manipulated and I would caution you to not be fooled.  Never confuse correlation and causality.  Pay attention to controlled studies, not observational studies which have enormous, enormous room for manipulation (The sky was cloudy on both days I got an A+ on my English paper, therefore to get an A+ the sky must be cloudy).  Control studies can be repeated, over and over and over again with the same results.  That’s when you say, “ok, this one might be legit”.  This is why something like climate change is so hotly debated and difficult to tackle.  Its a lot of fuzzy science.  But is that fair to not do anything about it?  I would think its more laziness and irresponsibility than anything else.
Don’t ever let somebody tell you that you are wrong at something, whether its to get a flu shot for your kid, or whether or not if its immoral to eat harmless animals or anything else for that matter.  Just ignore it, and go with what feels right to you.  That’s why I can’t even watch mainstream media anymore.  TV just force feeds bs down your throat and you eat it and puke it back out like a bulimic who’s had way too much to drink.  Apparently something is going on with Tiger Woods these days, and I’m thinking to myself, “Are you serious?  Of all the ridiculously important topics in the world you care about this garbage?!?”  (Don’t ever judge a man who’s shoes you’ve never walked in.)  Am I misinformed by cutting out mainstream media?  Hardly, I’m probably more informed than most people but that’s because I TRUST MY INTELLIGENCE to filter through the junk and ignore the rest.
I’m a confident individual.  I believe in myself more than anybody will ever believe in me (there’s too many people in my life and yours putting labels and constraints and judgements and negativity on you, so why would you do that to yourself? everybody else is already doing it).  And I fall, and I bleed, and I get pissed off at myself and I cry.  But I always, always, pigheadedly persist and get up.  As Michael Jordan would say, “I fail over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.”  I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m super emotional.  I’m a massive, major, over the top walking contradiction.  But that’s me.  I treat the CEO of a fortune 500 company the same way I treat a homeless person: with the same amount of respect that I would want to be treated with (at least at the beginning until you’ve either gained more or lost it all).  Sometimes it works very well, other times I can get scorched.  But I just have to trust that I was made of a combination of a billion million trillion factors through a remarkable chain of events in our evolution, ancestry, and time to be exactly how I am.  You and I both are living examples of a breathing miracle.  Trust it man, seriously.  I see far too many of my friends and family who just don’t trust in themselves and listen to nonsense instead of ignoring it.  If they only saw what I saw, they’d be killing it.
I want to say that nobody can possibly do everything on their own.  I rely on a very select group of amazing individuals, and am always looking out for more.  So I don’t want to say ignore everybody all the time.  When is it a good time to listen?  There are a few moments that come to mind.  When you need to model someone who has already done it, then his advice on that topic would be worth listening to.  I pay attention to friends who make a living running their online businesses, for example.  When you are getting real, legit constructive feedback, positive or negative, that is a very good thing to listen to.  I especially appreciate the brutal honesty, like when I was writing some essays for MBA applications, I had some friends put the hammer down (But they kept saying sorry, which drove me nuts.  Don’t apologize, just let me have it.)  When you are emotionally compromised, whether its love, anger, hatred, jealousy, or whatever, ask for some help from a neutral friend.  I find this last one the hardest of them all.  I had this happen to me recently, and my buddy really put things down logically for me.  But emotion always overrides logic, so even though I knew he was right, I seriously struggled with the decision (happy ending: I took the advice).  Shutting down my heart is the worst, most difficult thing I’ve ever done.  It hurts more than betrayal and heart break by far.  It just sucks, but when its the right thing to do, its the right thing to do.
Tune into your instincts by being hyper vigilant in your surroundings, fully engaged in what you are doing, and completely present in the moment.  Killer instincts can be trained.  Don’t do stupid things though that your untrained instincts would lead you to believe like being overly irrational because of paranoia.  Good instincts will help reduce chronic stress, remove that nagging voice in your head and improve decision making.  You don’t have to listen to someone who has a phd.  In fact, ignore the labels completely.  We live in a very interesting time in our history.  Right now, we have something nobody has ever had that has evened the playing field.  We have the Internet.  With just a few keystrokes and the click of a button, you can be as knowledgeable as any ‘expert’ in the field (like I said earlier, after you’ve filtered through the junk).  Put me in a room of health and nutrition gurus, and I’ll be fine.  Throw me in any rock climbing gym, and I’ll hold my own.  You get the point.  Trust yourself, ignore everybody else.  Its better that way.

A belief is a belief is a belief…

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Me

All my life I’ve had weird things happen to me.  I don’t know how to describe them any other way.  Some of it has been good, some of it has been bad, some neutral and just odd so I don’t know what to make of it.  I’ll just stick with weird.  Today has been one of those days.

So as I wrote briefly in my last post, I recently switched from a vegan diet to one higher in saturated fats and lower in carbohydrates.  I’ve been very interested in the subject lately and from all my reading and research have started to lean on the side that excessive carbs are not that great for you.  One of the people I’ve been following, Mark Sisson, has been very influential in my beliefs.  He talks about limiting carb intake to 100-150 g a day, and anything below 50 g will take you into a state called ketosis which will help burn fat faster.  Today, I stumbled across an article written by Malcolm Gladwell written in 1998 titled ‘The Pima Paradox’.  I was ready to skip it but for some reason decided to give it a read.  Usually I give an article an a paragraph or two, and if it doesn’t catch my attention, I skip it.  Since I’m a fan of Gladwell, I gave it three and was glad I did, because it was actually an article on diet and obesity.  In it, he pretty much bashes the carb idea and the idea that ketosis has anything to do with weight loss and provides ‘science’ to back it up.  Now Gladwell isn’t a health and nutrition expert by any means, but he is a highly intelligent, very interesting thinker.  Which is exactly why I started his book ‘Outliers’ this morning on a whim even though I have a ton of other ones to go through.  Weird that I would stumble across this article about a subject I’ve been highly interested in contradictory to what I’ve started believing written in 1998 by the very author’s book in which I just randomly started reading today.

I also have been highly interested in flu prevention and have had some interesting discussions with some people about it.  Last week, AF sent me some notes on an info session he attended regarding fighting flu using natural remedies given by a Chinese herbal medicinal practitioner thingamabob.  One of the herbs she suggests is Astragalus, which is the main ingredient found in a product called ‘Deep Immune’.  Today I started to get a scratchy throat so I went to the natural food store and picked up a bottle of it, came back and popped a pill.  As I was eating dinner, I was looking through some shows I have sitting on my computer and randomly decided to pick Derren Brown’s The System (for those of you who don’t know DB, check him out, he’s absolutely amazing).  In this show, Derren Brown claims he has an unbeatable system for horse racing.  He guarantees a win EVERY single time, the odds which are about 1 in 1.45 billion or something close to that.  Its an amazing show and I don’t want to spoil it, but before telling you exactly how its done he says the secret is this…grabs a bottle of…yup you guessed it. Astragalus.  I’m like WTF.  Prior to today I didn’t even know what Astragalus was.  He then goes on to talk about the medicinal benefits of it and how its actually a placebo. This is the secret to an unbeatable horse racing system?  Yup, believe it or not, he says the secret is your beliefs… Awesome, just dropped $40 on a bottle of placebo.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t know it was a placebo.  Now I have to convince my mind that DB is WRONG for the bottle to be more effective…Not going to be an easy task.  But that’s the wicked thing, first contradictory beliefs on ketosis and carbs, then contradictory beliefs on Astragalus.  Another cool thing DB demonstrates is flipping a coin randomly and getting 10 heads in a row.  I’m like tripping out, because I just read about that the other day and before he reveals the secret I’m already yelling it out.  Benford’s Law (I even shared it on my friendfeed)!! Weirddddddddddd.

Steve Pavlina talks about the time 11:11.  He even wrote an interesting blog post on it.  Pavlina is as crazy as they get, but I like him.  Basically what he says is if you see the time 11:11, or some weird repeating number like that, the universe is trying to tell you something.  All I can say is I’ve seen 11:11 no less than five freaking times today.  I’ve lost track.  First was this morning while doing my Upper Body workout (starting my second week of P90X+).  I RARELY look at the time remaining while I’m working out and today I only did it twice.  The first time was during the Upper Body Plus workout, the second time was after I came home from work and started Abs Core Plus.  Guess what the time remaining each time was?  11:11.  I also looked down at the clock at exactly 11:11 AM, looked at some logs that had timestamps of 11:11 AM, as well as emails and chat conversations with the same.  Honestly though, who looks at the timestamp of an email?  I never do and yet today I did and sure enough, 11:11 AM.  The number just kept showing up, wherever I frigging looked it was there.  I’m sure because I believed it was weird, my subconscious started to seek out the number hence why I saw it so many times today.  Or maybe not.  Who cares.  Its still weird.

I don’t know what’s going on, but its cool just observing it happen.  Strange things like this happen to me quite a bit.  I wonder if anybody else has had these experiences??  Its kind of like deja vu, when it happens to you you are like woah.  And maybe its my belief that weird things happen to me which causes weird things to happen to me?  Hmmmmmmmmmm.

We’ll see…

Life is like a sinusoid..no??? Box of chocolates??  Never mind. Nobody knows the future.  Nobody was given the handbook on how to live life. 

Here's a fable that I really enjoy.  I first heard Eckhart Tolle tell it.  I'm copying it from Derek Siver's blog.

————————————————

A farmer had only one horse.  One day, his horse ran away.
All the neighbors came by saying, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”   The man just said, “We'll see.”
A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses.  The man and his son corraled all 21 horses.
All the neighbors came by saying, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”   The man just said, “We'll see.”
One of the wild horses kicked the man's only son, breaking both his legs.
All the neighbors came by saying, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”   The man just said, “We'll see.”
The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer's son was spared, since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted.
All the neighbors came by saying, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”   The man just said, “We'll see.”